When you think about funerals or cremations, you most likely picture somber, dark rooms full of grief, formality, macabre moments, and feelings of loss. Like most, you probably associate death with negative feelings and thoughts. The death positive movement, however, seeks to accept death as a natural part of life without treating it as taboo. Keep reading to find out if cremation services in Oakland, CA can be death positive.

The death positive movement is thought to have first been derived from the work of anthropologist Ernest Becker in his 1973 book “The Denial of Death.” The term “death positive” was later created by coined by author and mortician Caitlin Doughty, who was heavily influenced by Becker. The movement centers around the concept that, as death a natural part of life, we need to be comfortable with talking about, planning for, and generally accepting death. The movement’s leaders give examples including having honest discussions with loved ones and family about the process of dying, what happens to bodies after death, death rituals and traditions, options for burial, funerals, body disposition, and ceremonies to honor a person’s legacy. No matter how or what you do as part of the death positive movement, its main idea is that if we talk about and approach death from an open and honest place, we won’t be so afraid and anxious about it.

Based on this information, yes! Cremation services can be death positive! Here are more of the movement’s integral ideas and beliefs to help you decide if its right for you.

Modern generations are very uncomfortable with death and dead bodies. However, the positive death movement believes that personally taking care of a loved one’s body after death results in open and healthy grief. They also believe green or natural burial options should be available for all. Natural burials are when the body or cremated remains are buried without embalming or a shroud and in a simple pine casket or cremation urn. This does necessitate a quick process after a death, but it is most similar to how our ancestors lost and grieved. Family-centered funerals should be the norm. Instead of written in a will or discussed after a death with a funeral director, end-of-life wishes should be openly and honestly discussed with the family. This encourages positivity and normalcy around death and also helps ensure the deceased’s final wishes are carried out.

The idea that hands-on participation in the service, body preparation, and burial or cremation can be healing is another core death positivity belief. The death positivity movement also believes in the incorporation of meaningful rituals and ceremony into the activities surrounding a death. Science has shown rituals such as eulogies, readings, songs or singing, donating a body to science, or even the simple act of burial or cremains scattering offer closure, aid in grief, and lead to healthier mourning.

Call or visit us today for more information as we are happy to help if you want to learn more about the death positivity movement or have questions about Oakland, CA cremation services.

If someone you know and love recently lost someone, you probably want to help them however you can. After all, losing a loved one and going through their memorial and cremation service in Oakland, CA is never easy. Use these 10 simple ways to express sympathy to inspire your actions:

1. Provide Condolences – Even saying something as simple as, “My condolences” or “I’m sorry for your loss” can go a long way towards helping someone feel supported and not as alone in their grief.
2. Join the Service – Attending the funeral or memorial service will show the bereaved that you care enough to take time of out of your busy schedule to show up for them. If you can’t make it, be sure to send a card, note, or at least make a phone call to express your sadness at missing the event.
3. Gift Flowers – While sending flowers after a funeral or memorial might feel stereotypical, its tradition for a reason. Flowers are a lovely, simple way to show the bereaved you care and are thinking of them in their time of loss.
4. Cook a Meal – Simple, easy, and straightforward, bringing a meal helps meet the bereaved’s physical and emotional needs. Cook something comforting like soup, casserole, or pasta, or try something the deceased loved.
5. Acknowledge the Loss – You might go back to life as usual after the funeral, but the bereaved won’t. Remember, your friend will still mourn long after the funeral is over. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the loss and talk about the deceased. Ask how they’re doing, share a memory of their loved one with them, let them know you miss him or her, too. This will mean a lot.
6. Just Be Present – Oftentimes, the best thing you can do for a grieving person is to just be with them. Sit with them at home, bring by coffee or baked goods, call, text, or simply listen to them talk. Don’t try to fix the grief or offer advice. Instead, listen, acknowledge, and be there for them however they need. Your presence alone can be a genuine comfort during this difficult time.
7. Offer Understanding – Grief can feel impossible, leading some people to seek company, others to find alone time, and yet others to lash out. Be patient and understanding with the bereaved and don’t be offended.
8. Offer Help – When helping, be specific. The bereaved won’t take you up on a general “let me know how I can help.” But they will most likely accept specific help. For example, offer to watch the kids, mow the lawn, or bring by groceries.
9. Send a Sympathy Gift – If you can’t be there in person to support the bereaved, try sending gifts like practical items or memorial keepsakes.
10. Pray – While not everyone believes in a higher power, knowing that someone cares enough to pray for you always feels good.

These are just a few of the many ways you can help someone going through a loss. Pay us a visit or give us a call today for more information on grieving or Oakland, CA funeral homes.

Companion urns are large containers that hold the remains of two people after their cremation services in Oakland, CA. Often intended for a husband and wife or other partners, these urns generally have two separate compartments or one open area large enough for both sets of cremated remains.

Companion urns also have double the capacity of standard adult urns. Standard adult urns usually have a capacity of 200 cubic inches, while companion urns have 350-400 cubic inch capacity to hold the cremated remains of two people. Wondering if your companion urn will be large enough? Assume that 1 pound of a person’s body weight will leave about 1 cubic inch of cremated remains. So, for example, if someone who weights 200 pounds wants to be buried with a 150-pound person, they need a 350 cubic inch companion urn.

Companion urns come in two standard shapes. There are two standard companion urn shapes: vase-style, rounded and box-shaped, rectangular. The vase-style, rounded urns are often ceramic as they are made on a potter’s wheel, while the rectangular urns are often made from metal, stone, or wood as square, cornered construction is easier with those materials. Are you into saving the environment? Biodegradable companion urns can be released into the ocean. Biodegradable companion urns are eco-friendly vessels that allow you to bury or scatter the remains out in nature. They are made from natural materials that will decompose over time, returning your loved ones’ remains to the earth.

Want to be sure generations to come know who is in the urn? Add a photograph! You can personalize a companion urn with individual photos of who is inside or, even better, a photo of the two people together. Try a photo-etched stone or granite urn that has the picture carved directly into the urn’s surface. You can also look into photo frame urns that allow you to change out the picture as often as you’d like.

Companion urns also come in many different materials. You can find companion urns in almost any material, from metal and granite to wood, glass, ceramic, marble, and more. In order to narrow down your options, consider how the urn will be used. For example, do you want it to be buried? Choose a durable material like stone, granite, or marble if you want it to last, or wood or another biodegradable material if you want it to decay naturally. You can personalize companion urns even if one or both of the people are still living. Pre-planning for your eventual passing can also include personalizing your future companion urn. Try inscriptions with a personal sentiment, important dates, or even a special message from you to your loved ones.

We are here to help if you’re interested in learning more about companion urns or other Oakland, CA cremation services. After all, if you love someone so much that you don’t want to be apart from them, even after cremation service, a companion urn might be the answer. Simply call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you.