Monthly Archives: August 2022

Concrete Ways to Help a Grieving Friend

One of the best ways to comfort and support someone going through a loss and a service at a funeral home in Oakland, CA is simply being there for them.

Here are some ways you can be there for someone suffering from a loss. For example, be as normal as possible. They might be sad, but they can still talk about the weather, share jokes, get hungry, need alone time, need to be pushed out of their shell at times, cheer on their sports team, care about politics or the environment or what’s going on in the gossip columns. Treating them normally will show them respect and love in a meaningful way.

Be available and be gentle. They might need help, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to talk to at odd times, so make yourself available and remind them often that you are available. Loss is not a good time for tough love, so be gentle with them. However, be careful not to go overboard and turn your gentleness into condescension. They are still the same person you’ve always known, so use your best judgement on how to interact with them.

To be there for someone, you oftentimes just need to physically be there for them. Try saying, “I’m coming over Thursday, what would be a good time?” It’s easy to want to say the right thing to someone who is grieving, but usually the best thing to do is just listen. If they’re not ready to talk, support them in silence. And don’t forget to let them cry. Crying is a natural and even important part of grieving. Let them cry, or even cry with them. It’s also important to not wait to be asked. Take some initiative and don’t wait for them to ask for help or company. Use your best judgement, but offer up assistance whenever you can. For example, mow their lawn, come over and make dinner, or just call to chat. Don’t try to understand and don’t judge. Even if you’ve been through a similar situation, they are unique and have a unique experience.

Don’t feel burdened to try to make sense of everything for them, or to completely understand what they are thinking and feeling. Grief looks different for everyone, so don’t put your idea of what they should be doing or saying on them. Instead, meet them and accept them where they are, wherever that may be. Similarly, be lenient for perceived offences or slights. For example, let it go if they don’t call you back right away.

Finally, just ask them what they need. Sometimes, you just won’t know how best to support them unless you ask. They might not know themselves, or they’ll tell you exactly what they need.

We are here to help if you want to learn more about being there for someone in grief or Oakland, CA funeral homes. We have the expertise needed to help guide you through a time of loss. Call or visit us today for more information on what we can do for you in your time of loss or preplanning.

Facts About Cremains

What are cremains and what do they have to do with cremation services in Oakland, CA?

Cremains are the bone fragments left over after a body has gone through a cremation. The term “cremains” is a portmanteau, meaning it’s a blending of words to create a new, more succinct one. In this case, the word “cremains” is a blend of “cremated” and “remains.” While cremains are often called ashes, that’s technically incorrect as they are really a mixture of dry calcium phosphates with some various minor minerals such as salts of sodium and potassium or, in other words, dry bone particles. Since cremations occur at temperatures above 1600° F, any substance that would make true ash is incinerated. However, it makes sense that cremains are mistaken for ash because after the cremains are passed through a grinder, they do greatly resemble ash. The exact amount of cremains that remain after a body is cremated depends on the body’s size, weight, and body type as well as factors such as the crematoriums process and equipment. However, variation in the amount of cremains is very slight. That is why most cremation urns are generally about the same size, though you can find them in different dimensions by length, weight, and depth as well as by interior capacity.

There are many things you can do with cremains after they’ve been processed. Whether you’re planning ahead for your own final arrangements or need some help figuring out what to do after a loved one has been recently cremated, here are some ideas for what to do with cremains, like scattering. A popular option for cremains is to scatter them. Cremains can be scattered in a park, yard, or forest, at sea, in a special garden, or anywhere else. There’s also internment. Internment is a fancy word for being laid to rest. Internment of cremains can be either burial or placement in a columbarium niche. Some families choose to bury a loved one’s cremains in the family burial plot, while others bury the cremains at home in their yards. Columbaria are buildings or rooms with niches that store cremated remains. They can be indoors or out, and often include large numbers of cremation urns to save space.

Don’t forget about cremation urns and decorations. While most cremation providers return the cremains to the family in a simple box or container, many choose to purchase a cremation urn to house the cremains permanently or before they’re interned. There are many different kinds of cremation urns in all different shapes, sizes, decorations, and even colors. A unique way to memorialize your lost loved one is to turn their cremains into some kind of decoration. Some people choose to mix the cremains into glass to create beautiful art, while others have the cremains mixed into metals or placed into lockets to make cremation jewelry.

We are here to help if you would like to learn more about cremains, internment, or Oakland, CA cremation services. Call or visit us today for more information about what we can do for you in your time of loss.

Make a Memorial in Your Home

Losing a loved one leaves behind more than just memories. You’re also left with photos, clothing, trinkets, letters and more – so use these items to create a memorial space in your home! It’s important to honor your loved one in whatever way feels best to you after a service at a funeral home in Oakland, CA.

It’s important to honor your lost loved one in whatever way feels best to you. We Here are some tips for creating a lovely and respectful memorial space in your home to honor your lost loved one. To begin, choose a space. The number of keepsakes and decorations you want to use in your memorial should help determine what kind of space you need to use. If you want to use a lot of special items and decorations, consider using an entire room or some kind of walk-in closet at the memorial space, such as an unused room, grown child’s room, old office area, or an empty pantry. You can also choose a smaller area like a shelf, bookshelf, fireplace mantle, or other unobtrusive yet visible location in your home like an end table or coffee table, corner shelf, wall in a bedroom, or entire bookshelf.

What about cremation urns? If your lost loved one was cremated and you want to keep their remains in your home, you have a unique opportunity to display and honor the cremation urn. Create a special memorial space for your loved one centered around the urn containing the cremated remains. You can accomplish this by simply decorating the urn in some way, such as an engraved photo, inscription, or an urn with a photo frame. You can also use the urn as the centerpiece for the memorial and fill the space around the urn with photos, keepsakes, candles, and other items. Don’t forget that your memorial space should be beautiful. Decorate it with lovely items like candles, pictures, artwork, flowers, greenery, or other items that both add ambiance to the space and reflect your lost loved one’s personality and style.

Pictures are some of the best ways to honor and remember your lost loved one. And photos are a great place to start when creating your memorial area as a good picture can serve as the space’s central focus. Try restoring an old photograph, getting a new frame for an old picture, or using an antique frame for a new picture. You can also make a collage or use a double frame to display lots of different photos. Your lost loved one accomplished a lot in their life, so honor those accomplishments by displaying memorabilia or awards in the memorial space. Include items from military service, university degrees or doctoral certificates, awards such as plaques and trophies, and more. You can also add items that represent religious beliefs, church activity, volunteer service, club memberships, their favorite books, or other hobbies.

Do you want more tips on creating a memorial space or more information on Oakland, CA funeral homes? Call or visit us today for more information on our services.

Concrete Ways to Help a Grieving Friend

You want to be helpful to someone who is grieving after a loss and a cremation service in Oakland, CA, but how? You don’t want your attempts at being helpful to be a burden on them in their time of loss. You most likely want to be helpful in a concrete way.

Here are some meaningful ways you can show up for someone in grief and be genuinely helpful, like helping them rest. There’s a lot do to when someone dies, from planning the service to dealing with end-of-life legalities. Help out by taking things off their plate so they can really rest. Try taking over hosting responsibilities for out-of-town funeral guests, performing household chores, or doing some childcare for an afternoon. Yard work is an excellent way you can help out, as everyone needs their grass cut at some point. From making lists to actually doing the shopping, running errands takes a lot of physical and mental work. Taking errands off their plate would be very helpful in their time of grief.

Keep reaching out and ask what they need. Grief doesn’t end after the funeral or cremation. Even after you’ve attended the service, said your condolences, brought a meal, and run some errands, keep reaching out. They’ll always appreciate the support. Sometimes the best way to provide exactly the help they need is to ask them what they need. Be specific, saying something like, “I’m free on Wednesday, what can I help you with?” or “Can I bring over dinner on Thursday night?” The simple act of going somewhere when in grief can be overwhelming. You can also offer to drive them places or simply go with them wherever they need to go so they’re not alone. Homecooked meals are genuinely comforting, but cooking takes time and energy – both of which are tough to come by in grief. Cook at their house while keeping them company or bring over an easily heated, freezer-friendly dish like a casserole, soup, or lasagna. You can also include a little treat in your meal delivery, such as a pie, cookies, a book, or even a pair of cozy socks

Don’t forget to be flexible. What they need might vary from day to day. Yesterday, they might have wanted to be left alone, but today they might need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to hear their pain. Be flexible and willing to provide what they need as each moment passes. What about gifting them a massage? Physical touch like massages can be very helpful when someone is grieving. Gift them a massage gift certificate so they can rest, relax, and have some time alone.

Do you want more tips on supporting someone in grief or more information on Oakland, CA cremation services? We are here to help and are honored to assist in any way we can during your time of loss or preplanning. Please call or visit us today to learn more about our services.

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