Category Archives: cremation

How Does Grief Progress Over Time?

How long will you be grieving after a cremation service in Oakland, CA? Unfortunately, there is no set time frame for when you will feel better, move through a stage, or come to accept the loss of your loved one as each person, each relationship, and even each death is different. However, knowing what others have gone through and understanding that their experiences are similar to your own can help you feel normal, which is soothing.

Being aware of grief models can help you understand the emotions you may be feeling. To provide comfort, here is a general grief timeline. For some, grief begins before the death. Anticipatory grief is a feeling of loss you may experience before your loved one dies. For example, you might begin to think about their loss and feel the pain of that loss when you find out a loved one has a terminal illness. After the death, many people experience shock immediately that lasts for hours or even days.

Everyone experiences shock differently. Some people may cry or laugh while others might feel completely numb. Every reaction is normal. A funeral or memorial service is often when you say goodbye in a formal, final manner. This can be a very important part of the healing process, and reactions can vary from one extreme to the other. You might cry throughout the service or sit stoically.

Some people say that grief is often harder after the service. This makes sense. Once the service is over, friends go home and return to their lives, leaving you alone with your feelings and your new reality. This is the time to self-reflect and allow yourself to feel your emotions. You can work on your to-do list, but be gentle with yourself. What about months or years down the line? Your grief will lessen over time. The exact amount of time depends on the person, as no two people will grieve the same. But you will start to feel better. Months after the loss, many people begin to question the death as they’ve processed it more. This is common. You will never be “finished” grieving the loss of a loved one. Even years down the line, there will still be moments when the pang of loss hits you like it did in the early days. However, these moments will become few and far between as the years pass.

Your grief might be like a shadow, always there but not fully visible or tangible. Despite the popular saying, time doesn’t “heal” the wound. But it does soften the blow. As the years go by, the sharpness of your grief will ease, and you’ll be able to think back to happy memories with a bittersweet smile.

Being familiar with a common grief timeline can help comfort you in your time of loss. We are happy to do whatever we can for you in your time of loss if you want to learn more about grief after Oakland, CA cremation services. Call or visit us today.

The Different Timelines of Different Losses

How long does grief last after the loss of specific relationships, such as the death of a spouse, child, or parent and their cremation service in Oakland, CA?

Grief varies greatly depending on the type of loss you suffer. Think about it, the grief you may feel after losing a spouse can be very different from the grief you feel after losing a coworker. Or, for example, grief after a miscarriage is different than grief after the loss of a parent.

Everyone’s grief timeline is different, but hopefully this information can help you feel normal and accepted as you process your loss. Many people suffer from feelings of grief after a miscarriage, even though many people don’t talk about it. If you’ve suffered a miscarriage, you’re not alone. Your body and heart will heal over time, so be patient with yourself and don’t be ashamed of your feelings of loss.

What about the loss of a spouse? While grief varies from person to person, some experts say that mourning the loss of a spouse can last three years or longer. No matter where in you are in your grief journey after losing your spouse, be compassionate and patient with yourself. Anyone who’s lost a child will most likely say that the pain will never fully go away. Losing a child is considered the single worst stressor a person can experience, which is why experts agree that grief after the death of a child is often the longest and most severe grief.

Losing a parent will have an impact on you and your life, no matter how old you are. Parents always have a formative effect on their children, and the loss will be acutely felt. Some people say their grief after the loss of a parent lasted between six months and a year, but there is no right or wrong timeline. We can’t forget about pets. A pet can be a very important part of your family. The feelings of loss and grief you may experience after the death of a pet are valid and nothing to be ashamed of. Grieving a pet takes time, often several months, but it is your right to feel your grief and to work through it.

The best way to work through grief after any kind of loss is to accept your new normal. One way to help ease the transition is by starting new routines that put you and your health first. Life is always changing, but growth can be healthy. You can try starting a new exercise routine, whether that means joining a gym or going on regular walks. This extra exercise will not only keep you physically heathy, but will also help you reduce stress and ward off depression. You can also try regular self-care such as massages, manicures, or doing activities that make you happy. Don’t be afraid to try new things, too. Test out different hobbies or take a class to learn a new skill. You might even make new friends or form new relationships that can help fill the hole in your heart.

Do need more information on grief or Oakland, CA cremation services? We are here to help however we can.

The Benefits of Intimate Funerals

Even if a small service at an Oakland, CA funeral home is not what you had originally planned for your lost loved one, you can still have a meaningful and memorable day. Many people think large funerals with tons of guests are the best ways to honor and remember a lost loved one. But small services can be just as good, and here’s why:

The Most Important People – While you love your Great Aunt Muriel from Australia, she’s not really a big part of your life. So, does it really matter if she’s not at the memorial or funeral for your lost loved one? Having a smaller service means your time, money and attention are only going to the most important people in your life, whether that means immediate family or close friends. Plus, you won’t have to worry about meeting some guests for the first time – like your cousin’s random plus one or your boss’ wife who you’ve never met.
Less Work – If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed about the work that comes with planning a big service, a small one might be for you. With less people and fewer moving pieces, smaller memorials or funerals are a lot less work and take a lot less time to plan. This means you can spend more time remembering your lost loved one and processing your grief.
Budget – A smaller memorial or funeral means less guests, and less guests means a lot less money. Think about all the savings on food and alcohol, not to mention how much money you could save on getting a smaller venue. These are some of the biggest costs when it comes to a service, so it would free up a lot of money in your budget for other things, like more flowers, or simply put more money back in your pocket.
Time for Everyone – When you have a big memorial or funeral with lots of guests it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to speak with or hang out with everyone. While it’s OK for the bereaved greet guests only briefly in a large service, wouldn’t it be nice to have the time to really connect with everyone? What’s more, the less people you have to greet the more time you and your family can spend remembering and honoring your lost loved one. You won’t believe how often the bereaved don’t get to sit and eat the meal they planned because they’re too busy greeting guests. Also, another bonus, no awkward small talk!

The last few years have made people really think about what’s most important. And, for many, having a big service for a lost loved one just isn’t a priority anymore, and there’s nothing wrong with that. While it might not be exactly what you pictured, a small service can actually be incredibly beautiful and special. We are here to help if you want more tips on planning a service at funeral homes in Oakland, CA. Call or visit us today.

The Benefits of Brunch Memorials

Brunch is warm, comforting, and definitely on par with what a memorial or other service can and should be after Oakland, CA cremation services. There are lots of positive benefits that come with a brunch service, like:

Food – Tired of the standard meat, fish, or pasta funeral or memorial meals? Brunch food is the answer. The combinations are endless and endlessly comforting, from omelet stations and pancakes to sandwiches, pizza, pastries and more. Brunch services are also more flexible when it comes to buffets versus passed food, family style, or plated meals. While you can have a cake for a brunch funeral or memorial, you can also get creative with other dessert options like donuts, coffee cake, pastries, and more.
Drinks – Everyone loves mimosas and bloody Mary’s. You can also serve specialty brunch cocktails like Irish coffee, Bellini’s, or whatever else strikes your fancy.
Availability – Some funeral homes, restaurants, and other venues book up quickly, but usually only for Friday and Saturday nights. A brunch service is a great way to squeeze yourself in at a busy venue if it’s the one your lost loved one would have wanted or if it makes you feel comforted.
Discounts – Since brunch time services aren’t as busy, many venues and vendors also offer big discounts that mean lots of saving for you or more money to spend on other aspects of memorialization.
Time Off – While a nighttime Sunday service means your guests have to take the next day off, a brunch service gives them plenty of time to get home and get to bed before a workday. Plus, there’s a lot less traffic on Sundays.
Attire – Brunch services can be as fancy or as causal as you want, since brunch itself can be both dressy and laid back. There’s no pressure to have big centerpieces or tons of flowers at a brunch memorial or funeral, but there’s also nothing that says you can’t have those things.
Religious Services – Many funerals and memorials are religious events, and oftentimes, religious services take place in the morning. By having a brunch service for your lost loved one, you won’t have to reschedule your religious service for a different time of day.
Sunlight – Take advantage of the daylight with a brunch service. If you have a dinner event, you start to lose the light nearly halfway through the event. But daytime brunch events mean you get a whole day of gorgeous sunlight for scattering ashes, spending time with loved ones, and honoring the deceased.

There are no rules for when or what kind of memorial you can have after a cremation service in Oakland, CA. You can 100% do a brunch memorial! No matter what kind of service you choose, be it brunch or dinner, just remember all that matters is honoring your lost loved one and comforting yourself, your family, and your friends. Call or visit us today to learn more. We are honored to do what we can to help you in your time of loss or preplanning. Call or visit us today.

How to Inter Cremains

Internment is laying someone to rest permanently, whether that means burial, a cremation service in Oakland, CA, a nice, or more. In the past, internment specifically meant burial. But these days, since cremation is so popular, it has also come to refer to the final disposition of cremated remains. Inurnment, however, is when ashes or cremated remains are placed in a permanent cremation urn, while burial is only the placement of remains in the earth.

You can inter, or lay to rest, cremated remains after cremation services. There are many ways you can inter your lost loved one’s remains after a cremation. You can bury them, place them in a niche, or many other types of internment. But where can you inter your lost loved one’s cremated remains?

There are many places to choose for interment of ashes. You just need to decide how you would like to lay your loved one to rest, such as public land. If you want to inter an urn on public land, you will need a special permit as public land cannot be used to burial or scattering remains unless otherwise stated. Some spaces, like theme parks and sport stadiums, never allow any type of burial or scattering. Other spaces, like national parks, do allow it when the bereaved fill out an application and get a permit. It is always wise to ask first. You would hate to have your loved one’s cremated remains swept or vacuumed up, only to be placed in a trash can.

You can also inter ashes in a columbarium. A columbarium is a room, wall, or building created specifically to house cremated remains inside urns. They are built with niches to hold the urns and provide the bereaved final resting places at which they can visit and remember their lost loved ones. There are also cemetery options. You can inter or bury cremated remains in a cemetery. Some cemeteries allow ashes to be buried in the same kind of grave space as full caskets, while others only allow ashes to be buried in special cremated remain graves. Before making plans to inter a loved one, check with your local cemetery.

You can bury an urn with cremated remains on private property, such as your own land or the land of someone in your family or that of a friend. If you choose to bury the urn, you should consider the different types of burial urns. There are options that are designed to stand the test of time and there are others that are made to decay so the cremains can return to the earth. You should also consider if you need a burial vault to help keep the land from sinking after the burial.

Finally, urn gardens. Urn gardens are special areas in cemeteries dedicated to cremated remains. In elaborate gardens, cremated remains are incorporated into the landscape, such as in benches, in a fountain, or other pieces. Less elaborate urn gardens have urns buried in the ground like other parts of the cemetery.

Do you have more questions on internment and ashes? We are here to help if you want to learn more about interment or Oakland, CA cremation services. Call or visit us today for more information.

Temporary Urns After Cremation Services

Temporary urns are small, unassuming containers usually made of cardboard or plastic. They’re designed to temporarily house cremated remains, generally with the remains inside the temporary urn in a plastic bag. Your lost loved one’s remains most likely won’t be returned to you in a decorative or permanent urn after their cremation service in Oakland, CA. Instead, you will pick them up or they will be delivered to you in a temporary urn. But what do you do with a temporary urn? And how do you transfer the remains into a permanent urn? Here are some tips for using a temporary urn.

You can keep your loved one’s remains however you see fit, whether in a temporary urn or some other receptible. Most standard temporary urns measure approximately 8.5″ x 6.5″ x 4.5″, though there are other some other sizes on the market. Most funeral homes and cremation providers will use temporary urns if you have not provided an alternative or if you have not purchased an urn from them because it is a bit more respectful to transport remains in a temporary urn rather than just in a plastic bag.

You can have the funeral home transfer the ashes for you. If you aren’t comfortable handling your lost loved one’s cremated remains, you can have your funeral home or cremation provider transfer the ashes into a permanent urn for you. Funeral homes are required by law to use the container of your choice, even if it is purchased from an outside source. You can have the urn delivered directly to the funeral home and skip the temporary urn completely, or drop the remains off with the permanent urn once it arrives.

If you want to keep your lost loved one’s cremated remains at home or in a columbarium, you will most likely want to transfer them into a permanent urn. You can easily transfer the remains yourself. To do so, open the temporary urn and remove the plastic bag with the cremains inside. Then, put the plastic bag into the permanent urn and close the lid or bottom panel. You do not have to take the remains out of the bag. You may use wood glue or caulk to seal the urn, but this is not required as long as the ashes remain in the plastic bag.

You can also keep the temporary urn. Your lost loved one’s cremated remains will be just fine in a temporary urn. You don’t need to buy a fancy urn if you don’t want to or if you don’t have the funds. While temporary urns aren’t ideal for displaying ashes, they are great for burying or scattering. Most cemeteries will require a burial vault, so you can just keep the remains in the temporary urn and put both inside the burial vault. If you plan to scatter your lost loved one’s cremains, you can keep them in the temporary urn until you do so. You can also place the temporary urn with the cremated remains inside a permanent urn as there are many urn options that are designed to be large enough for this purpose.

We are here to help if you want to learn more about urns or Oakland, CA cremation services. Call or visit us today.

What Happens When You Die?

Many people don’t know much about death, funerals, and cremation services in Oakland, CA. Are you wondering what happens when you die? Here is information about the body as it goes through the final stages of life and onto the next.

The first thing that happens after a death is the body stops working. There are many ways the body can stop working, but it often includes loss of interest in eating a drinking, slowing of breath, and the eventual shut down of all the organs. Once the brain begins to shut down, the body may make involuntary movements and, when death has occurred, the bowels and bladder may evacuate. Decomposition begins a few minutes after death with a process called autolysis, which is when enzymes destroy the cells and tissues in the body. The brain is usually the first organ to begin autolysis. After about 25 minutes, the body will enter pallor mortis, which is when it pales from lack of blood flow. Livor mortis, or the blood vessels collapsing and pooling, happens about an hour or two after death. Then the body moves into Algor mortis, or cooling. It cools about 2 degrees every hour until it reaches the temperature of the air around it. Finally, the body enters rigor mortis, which is when it stiffens from muscle chemical changes.

After death, a medical professional will always check a body for signs of life before making a death pronouncement. These signs of life include pulse, breath, reflexes, and pupil dilation. If there are no signs of life, they will pronounce death. Next comes the death certificate. The local government or state will officially record the death and create the death certificate. The death certificate is completed by the doctor, certified by the state, and passed along to the next of kin. After death pronouncement, the family will be notified of the death by another loved one or a doctor, nurse, coroner, or police officer. After receiving word of a death, its best for the bereaved begin preparing for the funeral or cremation right away. They should call the funeral home or cremation provider as they will help guide the bereaved through next steps.

Burial or cremation come next. Depending on the deceased’s final wishes, the body will either be buried or cremated. After the cremation, the remains can be scattered, buried, placed in an urn, or a manner of other final dispositions. There’s also service planning. The deceased’s next of kin will make arrangements for a funeral service or memorial service. Oftentimes the deceased will have left instructions for such a service. In these cases, the next of skin should follow the instructions. If the deceased did not leave instructions, the funeral director or cremation provider will help guide the deceased through the planning process.

We are here to help if you want to learn more about what happens after a death or Oakland, CA cremation services. Call or visit us today for more information about what we can do for you.

Inspiration for Keeping Cremains at Home

Many people choose to keep their lost loved one’s cremains at home after a cremation service in Oakland, CA because they want to keep their lost loved one close even in death. They might also choose to keep cremains at home in order to honor and preserve the memory of their lost loved one’s life.

But how do you keep cremains at home? You can try memorial shelves or keeping them in a closet. You can purchase a shelf with a hidden compartment for the cremains so you can keep them out and about in a non-obvious way. Many people choose to display photos or keepsakes of the deceased on the memorial shelf. Many people choose to keep their loved one’s cremains on a shelf in a closet as it may be simply too painful to display them in a prominent place as a reminder of the loss.

There are also memorial plants and teddy bear urns. Use the cremains as fertilizer for a tree or other plant that you can keep in your home. This is a wonderful way to keep the memory of your lost loved one alive and growing for years to come. Teddy bear urns are soft teddy bears with compartments inside to house cremated remains. Many people choose teddy bear urns if they’d like to cuddle the cremains as a way of soothing themselves and mourning the loss of their loved one.

What about glass art? Many artisans will infuse cremains into glass and then use that glass to create art. From sculptures to paperweights, the small amount of cremains is forever housed between layers of melted glass and different colors of your choosing. You can also keep their cremains in a cremation urn. There are many urns to choose from, from large and ornate to small and minimalist. There are also urns in almost every price point, making it easy for you to find one that works with your budget.

You can also make cremation jewelry or cremation paintings. Cremation jewelry uses small amounts of the cremains and turns them into a precious gem you can wear as jewelry. Another type of cremation jewelry features a small compartment in a locket, bracelet, or other jewelry item in which you can keep a small portion of the cremains so they’re always close to you. An artist can mix gels, oils, acrylics, or watercolors with your loved one’s cremated remains and produce a beautiful work of art. The art can be a portrait of your lost loved one or a simple painting of something that symbolizes their life or has some significance to you and their memory.

Do you have more questions or want more tips? We are here to help if you want more tips on keeping cremains at home or need more information on Oakland, CA cremation services. Call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss or preplanning.

Is It Legal To Keep Cremated Remains At Home?

There are many options for what you can do with a loved one’s cremated remains after a cremation service in Oakland, CA, from scattering and burying them to interring them in a columbarium, burying them in a grave, or turning them into a piece of art. You can also keep cremated remains at home!

There is nothing weird, harmful, or unsafe about keeping cremated remains in your home. Cremated ashes are clean and sanitary. The process of cremation has eliminated any potential contamination. What’s more, cremains are kept secure in a bag, making it very difficult for someone to tamper with them or spill them. You might also wonder if its legal to keep cremains at home. It is not illegal to keep cremated remains in a house. There are also no laws against scattering or burying cremains on your personal property.

If you don’t want the deceased’s cremains, you can either have someone else bury them, scatter them, or otherwise inter them or you can leave them at the crematory or funeral home for them to dispose of. Are you wondering how long ashes can be kept after cremation? Cremated remains are sterile and static, meaning they don’t have any bacteria and will not decompose. This is because the high heat used to cremate the body is hot enough to kill bacteria and rapidly break down any substances that would decompose naturally over time. Therefore, you can keep cremated remains as long as you’d like. What about if the funeral home will dispose of the ashes for you? Some funeral homes and crematories will dispose of cremated remains for you, but you must give them clear instructions as to what you want done with the remains.

It is not bad luck to keep cremains at home. It’s easy to understand why some people might think it’s bad luck to keep cremated remains in their house, but it’s not. Certain religions or belief systems might discourage keeping cremains in a home, but that doesn’t mean its unlucky. Others might feel keeping cremains at home will bring in a bad energy, but still others find it makes them feel better to have their loved one close. It all depends on personal preferences and beliefs. If you’re worried about religion and keeping cremains at home, the Bible neither advocates nor condemns the act of cremation or keeping your loved one’s cremated remains in your home. The closest thing to keeping cremains at home that the Bible mentions is the story of King Saul’s men burning his son’s bodies to cleanse them and respect their memories.

Yes, it is legal to keep cremated remains at home. Do you have more questions? We are here to help if you want to learn more about keeping cremated remains at home or about Oakland, CA cremation services. Give us a call or pay us a visit for more information on our services and what we can do for you in your time of loss.

How to Save Money on a Memorial

What do you do if you don’t have a big budget for a memorial after cremation services in Oakland, CA? Memorials after cremations can be expensive. And for most people, that’s just fine. Memorials are a big deal and oftentimes the memories of your lost loved one and meaningful moments honoring their life are worth the expense. But for some, it’s important to save money on a memorial so they can spend it on other things that are equally important. And that’s OK, too.

However, working within a small memorial budget can be hard, especially for people who have big dreams of what they want their lost loved one’s service to look like. If you’re worried about the cost of a memorial, maybe it’s time to cut back on the budget. Think about it this way – you won’t be stressed about bills or money, and you’ll actually be able to soak in the time spent honoring and remembering your loved one. Not sure how to decrease your budget to save you money?

Here are some tips for cutting down your memorial budget.

First, DIY as much as possible. While there are some aspects of a memorial you don’t want to DIY, like preparing the body, there are tons of things you can. For example, make your centerpieces, create your own floral arrangements, design your own programs, or ask friend and family to help with set up and tear down. There’s also the option of DIYing the food at the reception following the service if you want to go with a more casual vibe and your venue allows.

What about skipping stationary? The cost of paper death announcements and memorial invitations really adds up. Luckily, there are tons of digital platforms that will send these out for free. If you’re set on having paper invitations, consider mixing them with a digital RSVP system. You can also cut things like day-of programs, and menu cards as they always get thrown out anyway. Instead, try big chalkboard signs that can give the same information for way less than half the cost. You can also make cuts to the guest list. This is the simplest way to save money on a memorial. Think about it like this: a 300-person memorial reception will automatically be twice as expensive as a 150-person reception.

Pare down your guest list to just people you really know and really love, and you’ll see your budget go way down. However, don’t skimp on the venue. The one thing you shouldn’t try and scrimp on? The memorial home. The memorial home has such a massive impact on the entire day, so don’t try and cut back there. Instead, use these tips for other ways to save money.

We are here to help if you want more memorial or funeral planning tips. As an Oakland, CA cremation service provider, we have the expertise needed to make your lost loved one’s service the best it can be, no matter what your budget. Call or visit us today to learn more.

Blog