Monthly Archives: September 2020

Should You Bring Children to Cremation Services?

Every parent’s first instinct is to keep their children from harm, which often means keeping children out of memorials after cremation services in Oakland, CA. Even adults don’t want to deal with death, so protecting your child from death seems to make a lot of sense! However, in many cases, keeping a kid from attending a funeral could actually do more harm than good.

The memorialization process is very important for mourning and dealing with grief in a healthy and constructive way. This is true for kids just as it is true for adults. Children who don’t get the chance to say goodbye to a loved one at a funeral might feel resentment that they missed out, might not get the closure they need to heal and grieve in a healthy way, and might even develop untrue and scary scenarios in their minds about death because they weren’t exposed to the truth. In fact, experts say that children should have a say in the matter of whether or not they should attend a funeral.

Ask your child if he wants to go to the memorial service and make every effort to respect his choice. In order to make sure his choice is informed, give him plenty of information about what he will see and experience at the event. Talk about memorial or funeral details like who will be there; what will happen throughout the day and the funeral itself, from eating and drinking to sitting still during the service; where the funeral will take place, and even why memorial services happen in the first place.

Go into as much detail as you feel necessary, especially when it comes to the step-by-step description of the event to dispel any anxiety or untrue ideas your child may have about memorial services, funerals and death. If he has questions, do your best to answer thoroughly but simply, sticking to the basics and remaining honest. If your child chooses to go to the memorial service or funeral, take care to explain that he isn’t expected to feel any certain way. Some people at the event might be crying or very sad, and that’s OK. He can cry or be sad, or express however he’s feeling in a respectful way.

Also, be sure to avoid using euphemisms about death. “Grandpa passed away” or “Grandpa is sleeping” are very confusing and untrue. Make it clear that death is permanent, but it doesn’t have to be scary. Finally, let your child participate as much or as little as he wants, whether that means sitting quietly during the service, choosing photos for a memorial collage, coloring a picture to put up as decoration, or lighting a candle during the service. Don’t forget to follow-up with your child after the funeral or memorial service to see if he has any questions.

Do you want to learn more about Oakland, CA cremation services or funeral tips? Just get in touch with Deer Creek Funeral Service.

Planning a Service at Funeral Homes

Traditions surrounding death, grieving, and funeral homes in Oakland, CA are changing. This change is good as it allows for ultimate personalization for celebrating the life of the deceased. These days, there are almost no rules when it comes to planning a memorial or funeral service. This lack of guidelines, while good for personalization, can make planning tough.

Where do you start? Begin with location. The traditional funeral home or church isn’t necessary the only choice for a memorial anymore. You can also choose to have a service in a park, on a beach, at a home, in a museum, or almost any other place that holds significance to you, the deceased, and the rest of the bereaved.

You can also personalize parts, if not all, of a lost loved one’s memorial. You can really have fun with this part of the planning. Readings, poems, prayers and even music can be easily combined with a service, as can any other aspect of the deceased’s life and personality. For example, if the deceased loved jazz music, you can hire a jazz band to play at the reception or play jazz music during the service. Don’t forget to also include personal memorabilia like photos, videos, and beloved objects.

Also think about the master of ceremonies. Sometimes families don’t want a religious service led by a pastor or clergy member. In these cases, they may want to hire a celebrant. Celebrants are licensed masters of ceremony that work with the bereaved to customize memorial services in fresh and unique ways. Most funeral homes and cremation providers can offer lists of recommended local celebrants. What about final disposition? Burials used to be the default, but not anymore. There are tons of options these days from cremation services and body donation to entombment and more.

Another new trend is asking for people to send donations “in lieu of flowers”. You can ask guests to make contributions to a cause the deceased believed in as a good way to carry on his or her memory. Flowers are a traditional part of memorials and funerals, and probably aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. They can transform any room into a comforting and welcoming space perfect for grieving a loss and celebrating a life. Consider getting personalized floral displays or arrangements for even more flair. There is a new tradition of giving small gifts, like party favors, to memorial guests. These gifts are a nice way to help them keep the deceased in their minds and hearts long after the service is over. Feel free to get creative, like making recipe cards with the deceased’s favorite dishes.

Planning a funeral or memorial service is very personal, so these ideas are just to get you started. If you want more ideas or help planning a funeral or service at a Oakland, CA funeral home Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to help.

Funeral Agents and Cremation Services

Someone will have to make decisions about your funeral or cremation service planning in Oakland, CA, from where you will be buried or cremated, how your will estate be carried out, and many other important jobs at the time of your death. This person is usually one of your next of kin. Your next-of-kin is an immediate family member, like a husband, wife, or common-law spouse, a child, your parents, a domestic partner, or your siblings.

But what happens if you don’t have any next of kin? Or if you don’t want your next of kin to be in charge of your will and cremation service arrangements? There are plenty of situations in which this happens. For example, people often get divorced and therefore are estranged from their ex-spouse and children. People outlive their family members. Or, in other instances, someone may not want their children to be in charge as they might argue about how to execute the cremation and estate funeral after the death of their parents.

If these or similar situations apply to you, you can always designate a funeral agent. But what is a funeral agent?

A funeral agent is a person designated to have legal responsibility over all the matters concerning someone else’s disposition. In the funeral world, this is called the “right to control.” You can hire a funeral agent and give them the right to control your cremation service planning and the legal power to override the decisions of anyone else, including your children, siblings, spouse, domestic and civil partner, and parents.

Funeral agents can be anyone you choose, from a friend or clergy member to a neighbor, coworkers, social worker, or extended family member. However, its best to choose someone that will outlive you and will understand and be able to handle the ins and outs of planning a cremation. Choose and appoint your funeral agent carefully. While the laws vary from state to state, the most common process is by either adding a codicil to your will or by filling out a form.

If you want to designate a funeral agent in your will or in a codicil to your will, you need to talk to a lawyer and explain your wishes. Since the executor of a will is not necessarily the funeral agent, it is important to make the wording clear and specific in your will. Have your lawyer draw up a will or amendment that makes it clear who your funeral agent will be. If you want to fill out the form, you should get the form from your local government and make sure its notarized and signed by the intended funeral recipient and two witnesses.

Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to help if you want to learn more about funeral agents and other aspects of preplanning for an Oakland, CA cremation service. Whether or not you appoint a funeral agent is completely up to you, as it is a very personal choice.

The Deceased’s Social Media Accounts After a Death

You can’t just leave a deceased’s social media or otherwise online life behind. There are a lot of financial and legal steps you need to take when someone you love passes away and has a service at a funeral home in Oakland, CA, but you can’t forget about their social media and other online accounts.

Use these tips to take care of common online accounts after a death.

Google – Thankfully, Google accounts are fairly easy to deal with. If the deceased had any kind or any number of Google accounts, from Google Docs, Google Drive, Google Calendar to Google Photos, Gmail or even YouTube, they had a Google ID. Google has a program called Inactive Account Manager in which someone can preset all data and accounts linked to their Google ID to be wiped after a certain period of inactivity. If the deceased used that program, your work is done. If they didn’t, simply file a request to Google, submit documents proving your relationship to the deceased, and the company will close down the Google ID.
Twitter – Twitter will work with a verified immediate family member or an executor of an estate to deactivate a deceased’s account. You must submit a request for a deactivation and removal online, upon which you will be sent an email with instructions for providing proper documentation of your relationship to the deceased and the death.
Facebook – Facebook has set up two different methods to handle a deceased’s account: Deletion and Memorialization. If you wish to delete their Facebook page, you have to submit a request to Facebook, provide documentation proving they are deceased and your relationship to them, and wait the 90-day period. Facebook also offers a Memorialization option, which turns the deceased’s page into an online memorial that keeps the original content and allows others to post memories, comments and photos.
Instagram – Instagram is similar to Facebook in that it allows the bereaved to delete or memorialize an account. Only immediate family members can file a request to delete an Instagram account, and they are required to submit proof of relationship and proof of death, such as a death certificate. Instagram accounts can be memorialized once the company gets a valid request backed up by death documentation and proof of relationship. A memorialized Instagram account can’t be changed at all, and the posts will only be visible to the audience with which they were first shared. In other words, you can’t make a memorialized account public if it was originally private.

Our digital footprints will only get bigger the longer our society spends online. You can also make it easier for your family after you’re gone by taking steps now to organize your accounts. If you want to make things easier on your family and loved ones after your death, start making a list of all your accounts, usernames, and passwords now so they have easy access to your information.

Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to help if you want to learn more about dealing with death or Oakland, CA funeral homes?

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