Category Archives: cremation

cremation services in Oakland, CA

Can Cremation Services Be Death Positive?

When you think about funerals or cremations, you most likely picture somber, dark rooms full of grief, formality, macabre moments, and feelings of loss. Like most, you probably associate death with negative feelings and thoughts. The death positive movement, however, seeks to accept death as a natural part of life without treating it as taboo. Keep reading to find out if cremation services in Oakland, CA can be death positive.

The death positive movement is thought to have first been derived from the work of anthropologist Ernest Becker in his 1973 book “The Denial of Death.” The term “death positive” was later created by coined by author and mortician Caitlin Doughty, who was heavily influenced by Becker. The movement centers around the concept that, as death a natural part of life, we need to be comfortable with talking about, planning for, and generally accepting death. The movement’s leaders give examples including having honest discussions with loved ones and family about the process of dying, what happens to bodies after death, death rituals and traditions, options for burial, funerals, body disposition, and ceremonies to honor a person’s legacy. No matter how or what you do as part of the death positive movement, its main idea is that if we talk about and approach death from an open and honest place, we won’t be so afraid and anxious about it.

Based on this information, yes! Cremation services can be death positive! Here are more of the movement’s integral ideas and beliefs to help you decide if its right for you.

Modern generations are very uncomfortable with death and dead bodies. However, the positive death movement believes that personally taking care of a loved one’s body after death results in open and healthy grief. They also believe green or natural burial options should be available for all. Natural burials are when the body or cremated remains are buried without embalming or a shroud and in a simple pine casket or cremation urn. This does necessitate a quick process after a death, but it is most similar to how our ancestors lost and grieved. Family-centered funerals should be the norm. Instead of written in a will or discussed after a death with a funeral director, end-of-life wishes should be openly and honestly discussed with the family. This encourages positivity and normalcy around death and also helps ensure the deceased’s final wishes are carried out.

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The idea that hands-on participation in the service, body preparation, and burial or cremation can be healing is another core death positivity belief. The death positivity movement also believes in the incorporation of meaningful rituals and ceremony into the activities surrounding a death. Science has shown rituals such as eulogies, readings, songs or singing, donating a body to science, or even the simple act of burial or cremains scattering offer closure, aid in grief, and lead to healthier mourning.

Call or visit us today for more information as we are happy to help if you want to learn more about the death positivity movement or have questions about Oakland, CA cremation services.

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How to Support Someone in Grief

If someone you know and love recently lost someone, you probably want to help them however you can. After all, losing a loved one and going through their memorial and cremation service in Oakland, CA is never easy. Use these 10 simple ways to express sympathy to inspire your actions:

  1. Provide Condolences – Even saying something as simple as, “My condolences” or “I’m sorry for your loss” can go a long way towards helping someone feel supported and not as alone in their grief.
  2. Join the Service – Attending the funeral or memorial service will show the bereaved that you care enough to take time of out of your busy schedule to show up for them. If you can’t make it, be sure to send a card, note, or at least make a phone call to express your sadness at missing the event.
  3. Gift Flowers – While sending flowers after a funeral or memorial might feel stereotypical, its tradition for a reason. Flowers are a lovely, simple way to show the bereaved you care and are thinking of them in their time of loss.
  4. Cook a Meal – Simple, easy, and straightforward, bringing a meal helps meet the bereaved’s physical and emotional needs. Cook something comforting like soup, casserole, or pasta, or try something the deceased loved.
  5. Acknowledge the Loss – You might go back to life as usual after the funeral, but the bereaved won’t. Remember, your friend will still mourn long after the funeral is over. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the loss and talk about the deceased. Ask how they’re doing, share a memory of their loved one with them, let them know you miss him or her, too. This will mean a lot.
  6. Just Be Present – Oftentimes, the best thing you can do for a grieving person is to just be with them. Sit with them at home, bring by coffee or baked goods, call, text, or simply listen to them talk. Don’t try to fix the grief or offer advice. Instead, listen, acknowledge, and be there for them however they need. Your presence alone can be a genuine comfort during this difficult time.
  7. Offer Understanding – Grief can feel impossible, leading some people to seek company, others to find alone time, and yet others to lash out. Be patient and understanding with the bereaved and don’t be offended.
  8. Offer Help – When helping, be specific. The bereaved won’t take you up on a general “let me know how I can help.” But they will most likely accept specific help. For example, offer to watch the kids, mow the lawn, or bring by groceries.
  9. Send a Sympathy Gift – If you can’t be there in person to support the bereaved, try sending gifts like practical items or memorial keepsakes.
  10. Pray – While not everyone believes in a higher power, knowing that someone cares enough to pray for you always feels good.

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These are just a few of the many ways you can help someone going through a loss. Pay us a visit or give us a call today for more information on grieving or Oakland, CA funeral homes.

cremation services in Oakland, CA

What Are Companion Urns?

Companion urns are large containers that hold the remains of two people after their cremation services in Oakland, CA. Often intended for a husband and wife or other partners, these urns generally have two separate compartments or one open area large enough for both sets of cremated remains.

Companion urns also have double the capacity of standard adult urns. Standard adult urns usually have a capacity of 200 cubic inches, while companion urns have 350-400 cubic inch capacity to hold the cremated remains of two people. Wondering if your companion urn will be large enough? Assume that 1 pound of a person’s body weight will leave about 1 cubic inch of cremated remains. So, for example, if someone who weights 200 pounds wants to be buried with a 150-pound person, they need a 350 cubic inch companion urn.

Companion urns come in two standard shapes. There are two standard companion urn shapes: vase-style, rounded and box-shaped, rectangular. The vase-style, rounded urns are often ceramic as they are made on a potter’s wheel, while the rectangular urns are often made from metal, stone, or wood as square, cornered construction is easier with those materials. Are you into saving the environment? Biodegradable companion urns can be released into the ocean. Biodegradable companion urns are eco-friendly vessels that allow you to bury or scatter the remains out in nature. They are made from natural materials that will decompose over time, returning your loved ones’ remains to the earth.

Want to be sure generations to come know who is in the urn? Add a photograph! You can personalize a companion urn with individual photos of who is inside or, even better, a photo of the two people together. Try a photo-etched stone or granite urn that has the picture carved directly into the urn’s surface. You can also look into photo frame urns that allow you to change out the picture as often as you’d like.

Companion urns also come in many different materials. You can find companion urns in almost any material, from metal and granite to wood, glass, ceramic, marble, and more. In order to narrow down your options, consider how the urn will be used. For example, do you want it to be buried? Choose a durable material like stone, granite, or marble if you want it to last, or wood or another biodegradable material if you want it to decay naturally. You can personalize companion urns even if one or both of the people are still living. Pre-planning for your eventual passing can also include personalizing your future companion urn. Try inscriptions with a personal sentiment, important dates, or even a special message from you to your loved ones.

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We are here to help if you’re interested in learning more about companion urns or other Oakland, CA cremation services. After all, if you love someone so much that you don’t want to be apart from them, even after cremation service, a companion urn might be the answer. Simply call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you.

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Become a Tree When You Die

Are you interested in becoming a tree after your death and cremation service in Oakland, CA? Cremation tree kits are easy, eco-friendly, and beautiful ways to plant trees from a loved one’s remains while honoring and celebrating your lost loved one’s life for generations to come.

Can You Be Turned into A Tree When You Die?

This internment option is when cremated remains are buried with tree seeds, and the remains nourish and sustain the tree as it grows. Cremation tree urns are biodegradable urns designed to hold cremains, fertilizer, and tree seed. They also come with pH-neutralizing agents and fertilizers to help the cremains nourish the tree seed as it grows and flourishes into a free. When planted in the ground with cremains, cremation tree urns incorporate the cremains into the tree’s nourishment, turning your lost loved one’s remains into part of the tree, like a living memorial. There are many different types of trees you can plant with a cremation tree urn, including: Ponderosa Pine Tree, Quaking Aspen, Sugar Maple, Tulip Poplar, Blue Spruce, Deodara Cedar, Dogwood, Eastern Red Bud, Flowering Cherry, Ginkgo Biloba, Jacaranda, Japanese Maple, Mexican Fan Palm, Oak, and Palo Verde.

How to Become a Tree When You Die?

If you’re interested in planting a cremation tree with your lost loved one’s cremated remains, keep in mind that each cremation tree kit will come with complete, specific instructions.

However, here’s a basic rundown of the process.

Before you plant, look up the best type of environment for the tree, including sun exposure, water needs, and soil type, as you want to ensure that you set the tree up for success. After all, you want your lost loved one’s tree to be big and beautiful for generations to come. Then, prepare the urn by removing the plastic wrap and locating the lower vessel for the cremains and the cap, which contains the nutrients for the tree.

To prep the urn for planting, soak the seed packet as instructed, then place the wood pulp bag into the lower vessel along with no more than 1-1/4 cup of ashes, leaving enough room to fold it over and get the cap on. To plant the urn, place the cap or lid over the lower vessel, dig a six- to seven-inch-deep hole, and place the run upright into the hole so the lower vessel touches the bottom. Replace the soil so there’s no more than one inch of dirt covering the urn. Next, simply follow the watering directions for the tree type to ensure it will grow big, strong, and beautiful. It’s important to note that cremated remains don’t “expire”, so you can use your loved one’s cremains to plant a tree at any time, even years after their passing. However, after placing the cremains into the urn, you should plant the tree as soon as possible to ensure the seeds germinate and grow properly.

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Do you want more tips on cremation trees or Oakland, CA cremation services? Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to help. We offer expert services and information, so call or visit us today for more information on what we can do for you.

 

Frequently Asked Questions:

What Is It Called When You Die and Become a Tree?

When you die and become a tree, it’s called being buried in a tree urn. Tree urns are made of biodegradable materials, such as paper or cardboard, so the body decomposes and becomes part of the tree. The urn itself eventually decomposes along with the body.

What Is the Difference Between Tree Burial Pod and Tree Urn?

Tree burial pods and tree urns are two different ways to bury a loved one in a tree. A burial pod is placed around the deceased’s body, and a tree is planted on top of it. The deceased’s cremated remains are placed in an urn attached to the tree with a tree urn.

Are Human Ashes Good for Trees?

The physical and chemical composition of human ashes is similar to that of plant ash, making them a good source of nutrients for trees. Ashes also help improve drainage and aeration in the soil, which can benefit tree roots.

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What if Your Loved One Doesn’t Want a Service?

How can you honor a lost loved one if they don’t want a memorial after a cremation service in Oakland, CA?

Sometimes people don’t want a big “goodbye” after they’re gone, and that’s OK. But without a service or memorial, it can be tough for their friends, family, and other loved ones to honor and celebrate their life. Thankfully, there are plenty of alternatives to traditional funerals and memorial services. With a little thoughtful planning, you and your family can figure out what will work best. Here are some ideas for what you can do to honor your lost loved one or the passing of a friend without a service:

  • Write an Obituary – Obituaries are traditions for a reason, as they provide the chance to remember the deceased, honor their life and accomplishments, and help the bereaved grieve.
  • Get Creative – There are many ways to remember and honor a lost loved one through the creative arts. If you like drawing or painting, draw or paint a portrait of your lost loved one or of an item or image that reminds you of them. If you like to write, write a poem, short story, or even a letter about the deceased.
  • Post a Tribute – Social media, from Facebook to Instagram, offers wonderful opportunities to honor the deceased without a service or memorial. Write a tribute post about the deceased and the impact they had on your life, or simply post some of your favorite photos of the deceased.
  • Build a Slideshow – Slideshows about the deceased’s life are common at funerals and memorials, but you can still make one even if there won’t be a service. Feature lots of pictures, videos, and memories. You can even include your lost loved one’s favorite music.
  • Send Flowers – Sending flowers is a thoughtful, traditional way of remembering the deceased and giving their loved one’s support.
  • Dedicate a Tree – Not only will dedicating a tree help replant and forest and provide homes to forest animals but it will also honor and remember the deceased for generations to come.
  • Send Food – This thoughtful gesture of support helps the bereaved grieve without having to worry about cooking or ordering food. Be sure to check with the family about dietary restrictions or needs before sending food. Aside from homemade food, you can also use meal delivery apps to send takeout or even send credits so they can order their own meals at their leisure.
  • Create a Memory Book – Using pictures, notes, drawings, or clippings, build a memory book of the deceased. This book will help you remember the good time with your lost loved one and will serve as a reminder of their life for future generations.

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There are many ways to get closure after a death beyond a traditional funeral or service. No matter how you may feel about a loved one who does not want a funeral, it is important to honor their last wishes.

Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to help if you want more ideas on mourning in unique ways or information on Oakland, CA cremation services. Call today!

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Funeral Donations for Cremation Services

A funeral donation is money collected to pay for funeral or cremation service expenses in Oakland, CA. This collection is not to be confused with memorial donations, which are when the family asks for donations to a charity in the deceased’s name.

Funeral donations are an excellent way to ensure your lost loved one gets the service they deserve. Here is some helpful information on funeral donations:

  1. How Do You Ask for Donations? Asking for donations of any kind can be tough. To help, here are a few wording ideas that will inspire your own ask on whatever platform you choose: “We were simply not prepared for the cost of a funeral service. Any donation size is helpful as we try to give him the simple yet beautiful funeral he deserves.” “In lieu of flowers, the family asks donations be made to the funeral home to help cover costs.” “Many of you have asked how you can help my family during this very difficult time. We appreciate your consideration. We would also appreciate contributions to help pay for funeral expenses.” “The family asks those who wish to express sympathy to consider a donation to help with funeral costs.”
  2. How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.
  3. Should You Give Money at the Funeral? You can! Simply place a check or cash in an envelope or card and leave it with the funeral director. You can also give the bereaved a digital gift through a payment app like Venmo or Zelle.
  4. Who Should You Make the Check to? Make the check out to the next of kin.
  5. Do You Need to Be Related to the Deceased to Create a Campaign? No, anyone can set up a campaign for funeral donations.
  6. How Much do Campaigns Cost? Even the “free” funeral donation platforms have fees, including credit card processing fees and service fees that range between 3% and 5%. For example, for every $100 you raise on one of those platforms, they would take approximately $3 in fees and leave you with $97.

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While you can set up a donation anywhere or in any way you choose, there are two popular platforms used for funeral donations: Ever Loved and Go Fund Me. Ever Loved lets you create free memorial websites to both honor your loved one and ask for donations as needed. You can also set up funeral or memorial information so guests can RSVP and post memories of the deceased or condolences. Go Fund Me is a general crowdfunding platform that doesn’t specifically cater to funeral donations. However, it’s still a wonderful way to share your need and help others fill your need.

Funeral donations help the bereaved with costs associated with a service, from cremation and urns to burial, wakes and more. Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to help if you want to learn more about funeral donations or other Oakland, CA cremation services.

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Should You Choose Organ Donation?

Every day, at least twenty people in the United States alone die due to a lack of organ donations. Tissue and organ donation has wide-reaching benefits, as those who need skin, bones, ligaments, tendons, heart valves, and more often have no other options. While organ donation is a great choice for before cremation services in Oakland, CA, it’s not necessary right for everyone. Should you donate your organs or not?

There are many reasons to donate your organs, including:

  1. Save Lives – It’s a fact that organ donation saves lives. Depending on your donation preferences, your organs can save up to eight different people if you choose to donate your heart, intestines, pancreas, liver, two lungs, two kidneys. If you choose to donate tissue, eyes, and other parts, your donation can improve and save the lives of even more people.
  2. Find Meaning – Death is scary, but choosing to donate your organs will ensure there’s meaning in your death.
  3. Move the List – The organ donation list has over 107,000 people! By donating, you are moving the list so those people can get the help they need and so there’s more room on the list for new people that need help.
  4. Advance Science – Whole body donation to research is how most medical and scientific advancements are made. Your body can be used to study and treat diseases, development new medical procedures, and educate future generations of healthcare providers.

Here are some common reasons to not to donate to help guide your choice, like religion. Many religions forbid organ donation, oftentimes because they believe the body needs to be whole in order to reunite with the soul in the afterlife. The most common religions that discourage organ donation include Native Americans, Shintoists, Confucians, Roma Gypsies, and some Orthodox Jews. There are also personal beliefs. Some feel that organ donation doesn’t save lives, but instead that it only puts off the inevitable. Organ donation is your choice, so this belief is well within your right. Certain diseases or conditions including HIV, heart or kidney disease, cancer, and diabetes make organ donation unsafe for the donor and the recipient, and other people choose not to donate because of distrust.

Many people don’t want to donate their organs because they’re worried that medical professionals won’t work as hard to save their life so the doctors can harvest their organs. They don’t trust that doctors or hospitals will look out for their best interests. Also, others don’t want to donate because they don’t have any control over the recipient. In most cases, organ donors have no control over who will receive their organs or tissues. Instead, organs go to the next person on the list, no matter the donor’s preferences. Whether any or all of these reasons apply to you, or you’re not comfortable donating for another reason, you don’t have to do it. Simply make sure your family and loved ones are aware of and understand your feelings.

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Organ, tissue, and body donation is a personal choice. No one can decide for you, and no choice is wrong. Do you want to learn more about body donation or Oakland, CA cremation services? Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to help.

cremation service in Oakland, CA

Fast Facts About Urns

If you’re like most people, the first time you’ve ever thought about cremation urns is right before or after a cremation service in Oakland, CA. But it always better to be prepared. Here is a list of things you should know about cremation urns to help you get ready for the death of a loved one or to prepare for your own passing.

  1. Use exterior measurements for placement. Do check an urn’s exterior measurements to make sure that it will fit in the place of your choosing. For example, if you want to house the urn in a columbarium niche, make sure it fits the niche’s dimensions. Or, if you want to keep the urn on your mantle, ensure it’s not too wide or too tall to fit safely.
  2. You can pre-purchase urns. If you’re planning for your own eventual passing, you can prepurchase a cremation urn. This way, you’ll not only ensure that you get the urn that you want but you will also take one thing off your loved one’s to-do list. Simply store your urn in a box until its needed.
  3. Capacity is important. While you should check an urn’s exterior measurements to see if it will suit your needs, you also need to check its capacity to make sure it will fit the cremains. Many urns have decorative edges or accents, making exterior dimensions useless when it comes to determining the urn’s interior size. Always double check an urn’s interior dimensions before you make a purchase.
  4. The funeral home will transfer the remains for you. Since funeral homes are required to use a cremation container of your choosing, they will transfer the cremated remains into that container for you.
  5. A Cremation urn is just a container. An urn can be whatever kind of container you want or need it to be. As long as the container can hold the cremated remains, it counts as a cremation urn.
  6. You can rent an urn for a service. If you only want to have an urn for a funeral or memorial service, you can rent one. This is a great way to save money if you’d rather use the expensive, fancy urn for the service but want to scatter, bury, or otherwise inter the ashes afterward. Most funeral homes or cremation providers have a selection of urns you can rent, so check with your provider.
  7. You don’t have to buy a cremation urn from a funeral home or cremation provider. While its often very convenient to get a cremation urn from your provider, you don’t have to. You can buy an urn online, at a store, or wherever you can find one. You can also make an urn or use the one that comes free with the cremation.

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Do you need help planning an Oakland, CA cremation service? Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to assist. Call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss or of preplanning.

cremation service in Oakland, CA

All About the Five Stages of Grief

The five stages of grief are a well-known blueprint that helps people understand how they grief and offers guidance on how to get through a loss and a cremation service in Oakland, CA. Keep reading to learn more about the stages and how they might be able to help you.

 

Grief doesn’t come all at once or all in the same way, it often moves through stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychologist, first developed these five stages in 1969 to help illustrate that fact that, while every human experience grief differently, almost everyone moves through one or many of these five stages at some point in the grieving process. Some people might move through all, others just one, and more still might experience only a few.

 

While it’s not a comprehensive guideline, the 5 stages of grief do help, comfort, and basic understanding of how we experience grief and how that experience changes over time. The order of the five stages isn’t necessarily important, as people might experience them in varying orders and intensities, even moving back and forth between them.

 

Denial is when you don’t want to believe or an unable to believe that your loved one has died. The “this can’t be happening to me” reaction is very normal, and is usually the first reaction after a loss. Denial can also come in the form of telling people you’re fine even though you’re not because you’re denying your true feelings of grief. Anger generally sets in when you realize you can’t deny or fight the loss any longer. You might become angry at the people around you, taking your anger out on doctors and nurses who “failed” your loved one or on yourself for making a mistake that might have led to or worsened the situation. Some even direct their anger toward God or a higher power.

 

Bargaining is when you deny the truth by trying to change it. It might manifest as trying to get the doctors to bring in another expert or try a new treatment, or as pleading with God or a higher power for more time or a different outcome. Like the name sounds, depression is when you feel hopeless or that you can’t go on because of the loss. You might feel overwhelmed, alone, and lost.

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The final stage, acceptance is where you come to terms with the fact that your loved one is or is going to be gone. The grief and pain don’t go away in this stage, but you do accept and feel those feelings. When you reach the fifth stage of grief, you begin to plan on how you will move on with your life.

 

The five stages of grief are a helpful tool for anyone dealing with a loss or a service at an Oakland, CA funeral home. Do you need help with your needs in this time of loss? Deer Creek Funeral Service is here. Call or visit us today.

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Cremation Services Vs. Burial in Oakland, CA

While traditional burial is still very popular for many reasons, there are many who prefer cremation services in Oakland, CA. In fact, some might argue that cremation is quickly becoming the standard for final disposition. But why? To better understand cremation’s popularity and to help you decide if it’s the right choice for you, here are some of the benefits of cremation over burial:

  • Choosing the Service Time – With traditional burial, you’re pretty much limited to the standard service timeline of a few days to a week after the death. This can feel like a ticking clock that only adds to the stress of a death. However, cremation allows for much more flexibility when it comes to scheduling a service, providing you with the time and ability to plan a service that works with your needs.
  • Saving Land – The world’s population is only growing, but the world itself is not. This makes land a very valuable resource that, in some people’s view, shouldn’t be used for burials. Cremation is a wonderful solution to this issue as it does not take up any land at all.
  • Choosing the Final Resting Place – A burial means that your lost loved one’s final resting place will be a cemetery. Cremation, on the other hand, allows for a low more flexibility when choosing a final resting place. From an urn kept at home or in a columbarium to scattering at sea or in a special location, your loved one’s final resting place can be almost anything with cremation.
  • Keep Loved Ones Near – Cremation also allows you to make cremation jewelry so you can always keep your lost loved one close to you. Cremation jewelry can be one of two things: one, a jewelry item made with some kind of container that holds a small portion of the cremains or two, a jewelry item that was made with some of the remains infused with the metal.
  • Portability – Since cremation reduces remains into the smallest possible components, the process makes remains incredibly portable. This means that, unlike with burial, cremation allows you to bring your lost loved one with you if you so choose, whether that means on a hike for you to scatter them in a favorite spot or even when you go on vacation, so they’ll be always near you.
  • No Embalming – Embalming is almost always required for burial, but many embalming techniques use a chemical called formaldehyde that’s very bad for the environment. Cremation allows you to skip embalming entirely, which helps the planet in the long run.
  • Cost – In many cases, a full-service funeral with a cremation can cost about half as much as a full-service funeral with a traditional burial. Direct cremations and cremations with memorial services can bring that total cost down even further.

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Remember, there is nothing wrong with burial and it’s still a wonderful final disposition method if it’s what you want.

These are just a few of the many benefits of cremation over traditional burial. Do you want to learn more about Oakland, CA cremation services? Deer Creek Funeral Service is here to help. Call or visit us today for more information on what we can do for you in your time of loss.